From Newspeak
to Webspeak
Most people who bother with the matter at
all would admit that the English language is in
a bad way, but it is generally assumed that we
cannot by conscious action do anything about it…It
follows that a struggle against the abuse of language
is a sentimental archaism, like preferring candles
to electric light or hansom cabs to aeroplanes.
George Orwell
Let me start with an apologetic warning: significant
parts of this memo are unreadable. But that's
the point.
Spend any time on a tech company website, and
you will know less about its business than you'll
get from reading its phone number. More specifically,
spend three weeks researching competitors for
a client (you can tell that there's painful experience
at the root of this memo) and you’ll reach
the conclusion that 99% of websites are dreadful
- mind-numbingly, eye-wateringly dreadful.
George Orwell never surfed the web, and when
he wrote 'Politics and the English Language' in
1946, he had much bigger issues than homepage
design in mind. But so much of what he said addresses
the core malaise in communication today, and is
well worth web-creators heeding. Link
to Politics and the English Language »
Orwell says: Modern English is full of bad
habits, which spread by imitation.
The first lesson of all tech websites is that
they all say the same thing; doesn't matter what
the sector, segment or niche, the content is identical.
Every company is a leader in its field. Every
company wants to help its customers be compliant.
Every company has a solution. The phrase 'leading
provider of compliance solutions' pretty much
covers the territory.
A slight exaggeration, perhaps, but Orwell's
principle of imitation certainly holds true. It's
as if the companies in question have yet to work
out what they do, and so cut and paste from each
other, hunting for the answer.
Prose consists of phrases tacked together
like sections of a prefabricated henhouse.
Orwell lists four tricks that writers use to
dodge the effort of writing clearly. Reading websites,
designers and writers seem to have taken them
to heart:
Dying adjectives: World-class,
seamless, agile, flexible and integrated –
describers that are now completely stripped of
meaning. We all use them because…well, we
all use them. Here's the first sentence from Whale
Communications' home page: 'the established leader
in flexible class SSL VPN solutions.' As Orwell
might say, all companies are leading, but some
are more leading than others.
(The examples I use in this memo are not especially
bad – there are a LOT worse out there –
but they are good illustrations of the syndromes
from which we all suffer. A different week would
have brought a different list.)
Verbal false limbs: these
pad each sentence with extra syllables, which
give it the appearance of symmetry. Viewlocity
describes itself as 'the global leading provider
of visibility, event management, and optimization
software for the adaptive supply chain.' Consultant
group Forrester clarifies this by saying the company
'exhibits overall leadership in both current offering
and product strategy because of the ease of integration,
personalized event management and process synchronization
strategy.'
Read that aloud: it has rhythm, it has cadence,
and it is as cloudy as a Manchester sky.
Pretentious diction: words
are used to dress up simple statements and give
an air of scientific impartiality. Take a
deep breath and try Damovo's opening sentence
about its 'business communications for biometrics,
data and converged networks, voice enabled and
mobile solutions, enterprise relationship management,
e-collaborations and managed services.' If this
is the elevator pitch, then I hope its sales people
meet in very tall buildings.
Meaningless words: it is normal
to come across long passages that are completely
lacking in meaning. Web writers have anaesthetised
certain words, so that they are now completely
inactive; platform, unprecedented, convergent,
strategic, performance, migration, implementation,
verification, partnership, solution.
Why does this happen? Orwell puts his finger
on the cause: The attraction of writing this
way is that it is easy. It is easier, even quicker,
once you have the habit. Just like PolyCertain
Systems, that claims 'to provide platform independent
solutions, which integrate adaptive data warehousing
methodologies with mission-critical process efficiencies,
to fully extend the enterprise.' Convinced? Don’t
be - I just made it up.
Here's some timeless advice for anyone creating
the content of a website: In every sentence and
every page that you write, ask yourself Orwell’s
four questions:
- What am I trying to say?
- What words will express it?
- What image or idea will make it clearer?
- Is it fresh enough to have an effect?
This is not about clear writing for its own sake;
this is about persuading prospects and connecting
with customers.
It's about getting to the heart of even the most
complex technology and expressing it in a direct,
compelling way.
Above all, it's about finding the company's voice.
People do business with people – and yet
so many sites 'speak' in a standardized technomumble
that removes all sense of humanity. Then CEOs
wonder why they aren't being heard above the market
din.
In '1984' the authorities created Newspeak, an
official language that narrowed the range of thought
and understanding. In honour of its author, Saffron
House is creating the 'Orwells', a New Award for
Webspeak. The Award will go to the most confusing,
pretentious, vague, poorly-thought language that
appears on a website.
Please send your nominations to john@saffronhouse.net
- we will announce the winners in September's
5 Minute Memo.
And to make sure that your company doesn't receive
an Award, here's Orwell's final piece of advice:
What is above all needed is to let the meaning
choose the word, and not the other way around.
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